i don’t know about you, but this week was like whoa in terms of length and dragging on and just being generally difficult, as weeks sometimes tend to be. and i am 37 weeks pregnant, and don’t have anything interesting or useful to say about that. i’m guessing
lots some of you are getting sick of the baby stuff too.
all that to say that today, we’re going to have a braindump. a little bit of this and a little bit of that. i never know what’s going to appear out of my brain on days like today, so get ready for a lot of lovely random thoughts. nothing better on a friday, right?
1. i received this email from my husband the other day and i don’t think you understand how hard i laughed/gagged at my desk at work. we used to write each other letters when he lived in iowa at the beginning of our relationship, and emails like this bring me back to that time, complete with the butterflies of a new relationship. weird, huh? it’s especially weird when you consider the content of this email.
Good Morning Madam,
You know have I never have stories, well I have one now! It took me a while to figure out the best way to tell you this story, because first I was going to call you, and then I thought that would be a bad idea. Then I was going to wait until you got home, but I also thought probably not the best, so I ended up on email sent to you at work.
So, on with the tale. You know how we haven’t seen the smaller bunnies around lately. Well, I found out why. How does one write this in a sophisticated manner? They gone!! And, by gone, I mean they died, dead, worm food..etc.! I can confirm this for two of the former little fuzz balls at least. How you may be asking yourself does my husband know that two of our little backyard companions have deceased? Well I will tell you how and I will spare you some of the details that aren’t so pleasant. [editor's note: he did not spare me that many unpleasant details.]
Like any typical day at home I started off by kissing my lovely wife good bye and telling little Baby Z in her belly to behave today [editor's note: awwwww, he loves us!], and then headed down to the office in the basement to work. It was a nice day outside, not to[o] warm, low humidity, so I decided to open the window in the basement office and let some fresh air in. The air that entered was anything but fresh, and stank of rancid decay. I knew immediately that something had entered our back window well, which is at least 3.5 feet deep, and was unable to get out. Damn I said to myself, and immediately closed the window, while trying to hold in the vomit that was trying to escape my stomach. Next step was to light a candle and turn a fan on the basement to get rid of the lingering odor. After I got the candle going I went outside to inspect what type of victim the window well had claimed. What I saw next was not the prettiest thing I had ever seen, but I will spare you the details. In the window well of death , that’s what I am calling it now, were two dead bunnies. One that had probably been there for at least two weeks and one that was probably in there for around 3 days. I am not a forensic expert, but one body was just bones with a little fur and the other was still mostly there. Not pretty, or a good way to start your morning. So, I got some garbage bags and picked up the remains that I could gather, while trying not to spew chunks from the smell all over the place. I proceed then to bleach down the area to somewhat sanitize it and then rinse it with hose for the final cleaning. It seems to have ridden the window well of death from the stench of bunny death for now, but I have a feeling those will not be the last victims it claims. I have unfortunately solved the case of the missing bunnies, but let that be a lesson to us to check the window well every day or two to make sure that no more victims are claimed. Ahhh, the joys of home ownership.
I hope you have enjoyed this story, and I hope you have a wonderful day at work.
Love you very much.
i told him that he can now never leave me (among other reasons), because i could never have handled that on my own. also, our yard is apparently a death trap? also, also, i feel like Mister Man would be really good at guest blogging here every now and again?
2. i’ve got a wonderful cause that i am going to be talking about here in the next couple of weeks that is especially dear to my heart at this point in my life. for now, make sure to pay attention to instagram over the next few days for the introduction to that cause.
3. one of my dear college friends is getting married to one of the most wonderful ladies tomorrow, and i cannot wait to celebrate them as much as my big belly will allow. it’s the first time most of my best guy friends from college will see me pregnant, and can i just say that seeing young men’s reactions to the belly is one of my favorite things about pregnancy? the bugged out eyes, the not-very-well-disguised grossed out faces, the tentative questions…it’s all awesome and hilarious.
4. how do i put this without sounding like i’m complaining? i’ve been having a hard time walking the past couple of weeks due to my darling baby growing like a weed and putting all the new weight at the front of my body. yes, there is a downside to having a pregnant belly that looks like you stuffed a beach ball in your shirt. sure it’s adorable at first, then your body betrays you because that beach ball weighs 26 pounds. but the bright side of being laid up on the couch most evenings is that you get a lot of time to think thoughts. and one of the thoughts i’ve been thinking the most is this: can i get away with wearing these fake glasses in public?
5. let’s talk about freeze pops for a moment. my favorite flavor is pink. my least favorite flavor is orange (unless the yellow tastes like banana). i will eat any flavor if it’s in my freezer. anyone have weird preferences like that? if you ever want to feel like you’re back in your childhood, buy a pack, you will not regret it.
i hope that everyone’s weekend is just amazing. my little brother is home for almost three weeks, and i cannot wait for him to see my belly and get to feel the baby kick! he’s been living in maui since march (yea, for real), so he hasn’t really seen me PREGNANT yet, and i am so excited that he’s here. i may or may not be whispering to the baby that if it comes out on august 10, it will get to meet uncle patrick…incentives, right?